Capri-Slims

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Linn was going sixty in a forty-five sucking down a capri-slim as her three-year-old son wailed in the back. Daron was hanging halfway out of his car seat and somehow freed his arm from his onesie, which belonged to three of his older sisters before him. Linn kept glancing up at the rear-view and each time her heart broke.

She wasn’t entirely sure where she was going, or why she was in such a rush. All she knew is she had to beat the rush-hour traffic on the Altamont. That’s all that mattered. The twin hills loomed on either side of her, the sun sweltering through her cracked windshield. She felt like she was racing out of hell.

Daron ululated horribly, tears streaming rivers down his face. Linn snapped her head back and aggressively cooed away her son’s hysteria. She scoffed when she saw the cause of his pain: he dropped his stuffed cat, Nini Kiki, on the floor. Craning back her arm, Linn fished around for the toy and didn’t notice her old sedan drifting into the oncoming lane.

A semi-truck blared its horn. Linn panicked and swerved into a ditch. Only her airbag deployed, knocking her senseless and bloodying her nose. She had no clue where her cig went, for all she knew she swallowed it. Without the smoke burning her nose, she was finally able to breath. Then she remembered her son.

Daron giggled sweetly behind her, completely unharmed. Linn’s heart palpitated as if a tiny Dave Grohl was practicing blast beats in her chest cavity.

“You are going to kill your mother,” she said to her son, who smiled so sweetly at the accusation. Linn sighed and retrieved the stuffed cat from the floor as recompense.

She got out of the car to assess the damage. The sedan was wedged in a ditch, the front end smashed. Something in her pocket vibrated violently, scaring her half to death. She pulled out her Motorola RAZR and flipped it open.

“Linn!” a woman hollered from the other end. “Where in God’s name are you?”

Linn looked around. “On the side of 580. Up on a hill.”

“What? You’re where?”

“I told you, ma. Daron and I just got ran off the road.”

“Oy vey… Linn you’re going to kill me one day,” there was static on the line, the sound of a door closing. “I’m on my way, just stay put, alright?”

“No, ma…” all Linn wanted today was some peace and quiet. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry? Linn! All I ever do is worry.”

Linn watched Daron hug his Ni-ni Ki-ki through the dusty rear windshield. He held it so tightly it would have asphyxiated had it been a real cat.

“I understand that, ma…” Linn breathed in heavily. “I really do.”